Love languages

A few months ago, my boyfriend introduced me to a book called The 5 Love Languages.
Since then I have been fascinated by how people's behaviours and words betray their preferred way of expressing or receiving love.

To the risk of generalising and stereotyping, I would say from my observations that Chinese people tend to express love through Acts of Service and Gifts, and definitely not through either Words of Affirmation or Physical Touch, which would be more of a western way of expressing love and affection - see previous post on family and peculiarities.

The fifth love language is Quality Time, and perhaps this could be a common ground between Chinese and western cultures?

My two dominant love languages are Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. For that reason, my boyfriend says that I am like a little cat, purring and asking to be stroked and cuddled.
To make things really easy, he and I have the same two dominant love languages, which means that without much effort, we both feel emotional safety, reassurance and trust towards each other.
It is quite interesting that we have the same love languages, even if I often joke that I am a black-haired brown slanted-eyed westerner (or "banana": yellow on the outside, white on the inside), and conversely he is a blonde-haired blue-eyed Chinese man, through years spent living and breathing Chinese culture.
He masters the Chinese language incomparably better than I do (yes, I feel ashamed), and his understanding of Chinese cultures is much superior to mine (he actively worked on understanding a foreign culture, whereas I only ever passively tried to cope with a culture gap).

I have come across a few Chinese people who would say, strongly believing that their perception of the world is the one and only truth, that the only proof that you love someone is how much money you have given them (love language of Gifts). They believe that western parents molly-cuddle their children and repeat to them that they love them (Words of Affirmation), but that when it comes to it, they wouldn't part with their money, and therefore their words are empty.
If you have read Battlehymn of a Tiger Mother by Amy Chua, you have come across this dilemma, and it has probably stirred strong emotions in you, making you want to express your opinion loudly, whichever way you lean.

What do I think as a French-born Chinese living in the western world?
I will do what I am often accused of doing, due to my loathing of confrontations: sitting on the fence.
I think that when you love someone enough, you want to have the tolerance to try and understand their point of view, even if it is diametrically opposite to what you believe in. You may never succeed, but you will definitely listen and try.
If you both adopt that mindset, you may still bicker, get frustrated with each other, occasionally feel hurt and often feel misunderstood, but you will know that you are both trying, and accept that the other person just thinks completely differently.

Think of the Buddhist concept of Lovingkindness - wishing everyone well, no matter how similar or different they are (just to throw in some more clashes, as I come from a family of firm believers in Christian Protestant religion).
Easier said than done.
In the meantime, I will relish my easy life with my blue-eyed China man.